Read about three of our wonderful participants in these Spotlights

Kauser

Kauser’s family originates from Pakistan. She has brought up a family while being sole carer of two of her brothers, both disabled. She is a founder member of Better Action for Families and an activist for carers’ rights as a member of the Sibs group and as a Care Educator at Leeds University.

Kauser has been a participant in lots of Skippko activities and groups, including at-home packs, the Community Research Team and most recently, the Performance and Making Club.

“I think my journey starts in COVID because it was a very difficult time having two brothers at home, young men that couldn’t understand why they weren’t able to do their daily activities.

And then from Carers Leeds, I saw that Skippko were offering sessions at home, via Zoom. So that was my first experience and my goodness, when I signed up and the stuff that they sent home, I thought, right, this is really, really good because I’ll be able to do something.

And part and parcel of that was I’m trying to look for my own identity, trying to look for who I am, where all this started from, and trying to get some kind of an insight for myself as to how to make myself grow.

And I think this is where Skippko (came) at the right time… for me because I was so stressed and so down. And when it came, I thought, oh, this is part of my childhood that I never had, being able to sit and draw and express myself.

There’s no one saying, oh, you’ve done that wrong, or, you know, this is how you should do it. I mean, they’re there to support and help you when you’re not quite sure.

There’s no way to say how it has impacted me other than me reflecting on how my life has been up to now.

I come here and I feel so relaxed and some of the things I do, I also take it back home and I introduce them to my brothers and say, look, let’s have a go at this. But it has an impact on all of my family, not only my brothers, but my children, my husband. When they see how I come back relaxed and, you know, energised, they actually think, wow, that’s lovely, you know?

And then when you do come, I mean, it makes life that much easier because now I’ve been caring for such a long time and I’ve always put myself last. And now I’m trying to put myself first.

… when you’re sat in a taxi, because you’re all of the like-mindedness, you’re all carers, you all have different roles that you’re playing, but yet we all feel the same.

It’s like you’re coming to a new family.

The welcoming looks that they give you, the way they smile at you, don’t feel out of place. It’s like, it does feel like you’re coming home. And that for me is beautiful.

So, yeah, for me, I don’t know how, if I hadn’t come here, what kind of a person I’d be.

So, because of Skippko, I’m so, different. Thank you to Skippko.”

“I’ve no words for it other than it fills me. Yeah, it fills me and nourishes me in the ways that I don’t think I’ve ever been fulfilled.”

Shelley

Shelley is kept busy with her family; she has three children, all with support needs, and has chronic conditions herself, but makes time to volunteer with a number of art/support organisations and Skippko.

Shelley has participated in a number of Skippko groups, including Under the Canopy and the Monthly Art Club.

“Yeah, just giving myself time to stop and breathe and be me, I guess, as well, is the big part of it. I’m not just mum, I’m not just, I’m me. And me wants to sit and do planting daffodils.

Genuinely, most of the people at the group are either carers or caring in some capacity.

There’s… some element of care there or people that have gone through like mental health issues themselves, which is my… other thing that I’ve got going on. And they just get it… We just all exist around each other doing these happy things.

There’s been a few times where I’ve turned up and I’ve gone, I don’t know that I should be here this week. I don’t even know that I can participate in anything because my head’s so full and I feel unwell and that’s okay. And just, they’re like, it’s fine, just be here, be around other people doing this stuff.

(My family) all know how much it benefits me. Because then if they’re having a tough day or if one of them has a meltdown, then I’m more able to deal with what they need rather than they lose their temper or they get upset and then I retaliate… because I’m tired or I’m hurting or I’m stressed or whatever. Instead, I’ve got that kind of headspace to go, right, okay, take a step back.”

“I’m a lot better than I was… when I first started with Skippko, I would literally cry at everything. If somebody asked me to read something out, I’d cry. My anxiety was horrendous. I was so shy.”

Derek

Derek is of retirement age, married and a regular volunteer and participant with Age UK, Leeds.

Derek engaged with Skippko’s Camera Connections project at the Age UK Hub and came to the exhibition at Skippko.

“I like the social aspect. And that’s what I like about Skippko, because it’s all social. We’re doing things, particularly for me, doing stuff that I’ve perhaps not done for a long time, or I’m learning things for new.

And having been down there, it’s like we were painting stones one time. And I thought, this is fascinating… I remember when I was a kid, I used to go and collect stones off the beach, and we’d decorate them and put on our steps at home as children. Here I am, almost 70; I’m doing it now.

I didn’t know how to take black and white photographs on my camera… So I went home and I experimented, doing all sorts of things with my camera. I couldn’t figure it out. Then one day I did… I told Nicki and Sally; I was determined to show them that I’d done it. And they were amazed, yeah. I’d learnt on my own, you know… and I was so happy for myself.

It’s just one of those magical places, like you’re stepping into, like, through a mirror into something that’s just different, you know, a place of comfort. It’s like a childlike dream where you can sit, relax, enjoy the atmosphere, enjoy the company, have a nice cup of tea and just look around and say, this is wonderful… Yeah, it’s just a wonderful place.”

“I think Sally and Nicky are the most amazing people on the planet. They really are truly wonderful, patient. Really lovely people.”

And a wonderful poem written by Kausar

Skippko, Skippko

What can I say?

What you have done for me

is what I have been searching for all my life.

Someone who takes care of me

from the moment I leave my home,

as the protective layers begin to slip away.

I feel like a VIP.

My beating heart steadies

as I walk into your warm embrace,

an environment like no other,

away from the hustle and bustle,

serene beneath a canopy of greenery.

Hands made busy,

minds given space,

to create alone

or together

with my newly made family,

my new friends.

You helped me find me.

I don’t know when,

but you did.

You reached my soul

and nurtured it

with soup

and Matthew’s hot concoction surprise,

with stories that carry you

to lands where forgetting feels gentle.

Who cares for the invisible carer?

Skippko, Skippko.

The one hidden beneath many layers,

the one who wears many hats,

the one no one sees,

yet you do.

You do.

Time flies with Skippko.

Longing sets in as you leave,

hoping the next session

won’t be too far away.

How I needed you,

Skippko, Skippko,

my caring, nurturing friend.

Thank you.